Dealing with Cyberkids

Printer-friendly versionSend to friend

DEALING WITH CYBERKIDS

Bangkok Post
Thursday June 05, 2008 (Source Link)

Follow simple guidelines

ANIJIRA ASSAVANONDA

The guidelines are simplified for parents or adults who looking for ways to cope with children at all levels of addictions. The objective is not to make the children quit playing, but to reduce it to the level that enables them to perform their daily functions effectively. Note that computer games are not all bad. Some games can also be good for mental development of the children.

- Build up discipline and responsibility

Parents may set the rules for the children, what they can or cannot do. For example, you may prohibit them from playing games while eating.

Assign your children some responsibilities such as washing dishes, watering plants, etc. Children will learn to force themselves to carry out their duties.

- Lessen the chance to access computers or the Internet

Limit the number of computers in your home, so the children are forced to share terminals and that will automatically restrict their playing time.

Place computers in an open area where all family members can see what is going on.

Limit the Internet access hours. You may opt for an Internet-hour kit instead of the unlimited package.

- Money measures

Control your children's allowances. Don't give them too much money and not too often. Be careful before paying. Make it justified for your children's discipline in spending.

Inform your children about the household expenditures that involved the Internet fees, telephone and electricity costs. You may let the children pay for the Internet to teach them about responsibility.

Get your children to do chores for money, so they'll learn about its value, and let them pay for part of their own expenses.

- Listen and speak kindly

Listen to your children and communicate in a friendly manner. Pay greater attention to what they don't dare to speak. Be positive and don't blame them all the time.

Speak nicely to each other. Show respect to your children. Do not nag them constantly.

Use the "I-message" technique, telling how you feel instead blaming others on what they do. For example, say "I'm sorry that you play the games beyond the three hours limit that you promised me", instead of "You're irresponsible and never keep your promise."

Writing can be an effective form of communication. Write a letter or short note, and leave it on the dining table, or place on the fridge. The message will better explain how you feel and care for them.

- Praise and support

Try to look at good things in your children. Give them morale support and praise them for the good things they do.

- Have the children participate when you set the rules

If your children are teenagers, giving them an order won't work. The best way is to have their participation when setting the rules, to make sure the agreement is acceptable for both.

Enforce the rules seriously but gently. If you're not strong, children won't respect the rules. So be tough with the rules, but use polite words and a gentle approach to deal with the children.

- Find other creative solutions

Playing board games or find other activities that children will enjoy, such as sports, music and art.

- Add smiles to your family

Creating smiles will build a warm atmosphere in your family, or at least help improve the situation.

Fresh up your family daily, by telling some jokes, arranging some special meals, or praising your children when they do something good.

- Control your feelings

Be patient. Rushing the children will do more harm than good.

Strengthen yourself before helping the children.

Stay calm. Don't be emotional. Count one to 10 if you feel you can't control your anger.

Find ways to let out your emotion, such as walking away, singing, writing in the paper, or doing physical exercise.

Find the positive in all problems.

- Start the changes from yourself

Change yourself first before changing the children. This can be started by changing the negative factors at home, like stop quarrelling each other.

Increase positive factors such as finding recreational activities for the families.